24 yards

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And so I walked in a haze 
Light like the wind,
Heavy as a wave. 
I walked by everything that preceded me 
Along everything that followed. 

I traced every path, graced every ground 
Where I left a trail, an unapologetic mark 
Places I didn’t have reason to go to 
Faces I shouldn’t have held so close. 
I revisited every grave I sealed shut 
Ripping up every bone from the gravel. 

And just like that, I was faced with the fabric of my existence –
Woven indelicately by me, by my destiny 
I had questions but I was immune too long, had scars that never hurt. Not once.
I had an ignition to keep walking 
But my heart pounded heavily. 
My mind directed me, yet again 
To chase a worthier world 
One that already had its home and heath in my head, that which I never found my welcome in. 

And so I walked on, 
For every step I found caution, 
Every aspiration was deemed a mistake. 
But while the most pristine, carefully crafted drops of confidence were set ablaze, I treaded backwards. 
Away from the merrier glow of dawn towards the grimmer, albeit inviting twilight. 
I treaded down that road to don the same fabric 
That I had the privilege to sew.
A design I had toiled to birth, still gleaming in the lustre of my sweat 
Vibrant in the blood of my inexperienced hands. 

And now I walk back, bringing with me my burden. A burden of love, an upholstery of truths 
A repository of my identity. 
And I carry with me nothing else but a dare –
To my mind, to my demons 
To trample over us. 
I give you all my 24 yards 
Tear it if you can. 

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